Addiction...sickness...deficiency...talent...skill...whatever you want to call it...I have a thing for stress. It's the kick in the rear that is required to get anything of magnitude done; the Red Bull for a procrastinator's lagging energy.
It is now 1 week away from Art Walk...the only time of the year I attempt to present myself as some variation of an artist to the public. I'm disgustingly behind...no where close to where I want to be...and even worse off than last year since I had no expectations then like I do now.
Somewhere along the line (i.e. about 10 minutes ago), I realized to myself that I might be expecting too much from myself this year. Subconsciously, I've almost set this up as a do-or-die kind of year, when it's really nothing of the sort. I figure I might have at last become impatient with my circumstances, and it seems I've been hoping that something bigger than me will make this all work out.
However, Luck is not a familiar bedfellow...only a passing acquaintance that I've met occasionally when I walk down the street. I've accepted the fact that I'm not really a lucky person. After all, none of the good things in my life have come easy...why would it start now?
So perhaps I'm courting Luck a little too much (who ignores me entirely too much for my taste), when I should be nurturing Patience a little bit more. After all...over 30 years to get to this point...what's a few more years over a few more years?
I just have to hope I remember this when I'm having a meltdown the day before Art Walk begins.
Friday, July 4, 2008
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